I don’t go to the Post Office often. Maybe twice a year.
Today I had to go because I was mailing a Christmas package to my brother who lives in Beijing. I checked online, and the priority-air flat-rate service for a small box to China was $12.95. Awesome deal.
So I drove to the post office. I arrived and began searching for a small box. They only had one small priority box. I grabbed it. I packed, taped, and addressed the box and filled out the customs paperwork. Then I got in line. After 15 minutes I got to the counter.
“Hi! I need to send this box flat-rate to Beijing.”
“Okay.”
He punched a bunch of keys, scanned some codes, weighed the package, and announced, “That’ll be $28.95.”
“$28.95? I checked online, and it said it would be $12.95. Why is this so much higher?”
“I don’t know. But this is the price.”
“I’m sure it was $12.95.”
“Well it’s not.”
“Maybe I was looking at the non-priority price… would it be $12.95 if I paid the non-priority price?”
“We only offer priority to China.”
“So are there any other ways to send a box to China? I’m just trying to figure out why it was $12.95 online and it’s now $28.95.”
“Well you could always send it flat-rate. That’s $12.95.”
“Oh, that’s what I want to do!”
“You’ll have to use a flat-rate priority box. This priority box won’t work.”
“Okay. No big deal. Where do I get a flat-rate box?”
“Over there” and he points to the area where I packed my box.
“Oh, I was just over there and this was the only kind of small box you had over there.”
“They’re over there. NEXT!!”
So off I went back to the packaging area. I checked and double-checked. No small flat-rate priority boxes anywhere. Back in line. 18 minutes later I’m back at the counter. Same guy.
“There are no small flat-rate boxes over there.”
“That’s because we are out.”
“What?!? You just told me they were over there.”
“I forgot. We’ve been out of those for a couple days now.”
“You don’t have any in the back?”
“Nope. And we’ve called all the Post Offices all over town. Nobody has them.”
“So when will you get some in?”
“Two weeks.”
“That won’t work. This is a Christmas present for my brother. I need to mail it this week.”
“I’m not sure what to tell you.”
“Can we just use this priority box since it’s the same size?”
“No. It’s the wrong box.”
“But it’s the same size, the weight of the items is within the limits, and it goes with the same air-service that the flat-rate box would.”
“But it doesn’t say ‘Flat-Rate Box’ on it.”
“Can we just write that on the box?”
“No.”
“Okay, what would you suggest I do? What are my options?”
“I guess you’ll just have to pay $28.95. It’s the only way.”
“Well, I guess if that’s my only option…”
“Oh, wait!! Here’s a small flat-rate box right here behind the counter!”
He bends down and pulls out a small flat-rate box and innocently hands it to me.
“Wow. Great. Thanks!”
“NEXT!!”
I go back to the packaging area, cut open my small priority box and move the contents into the small flat-rate priority box. I re-tape and re-address the box. Back in line. 20 minutes later I’m at the counter. Same guy.
“I think we’ve got it right this time.”
“Good.”
He punched a bunch of keys, scanned some codes, weighed the package, and announced, “That’ll be $12.95.”
“Excellent! Do you take credit cards?”
“Yes, just swipe your card there.” He pointed to the credit card reader in front of me.
I swiped my card.
“Don’t swipe your card yet!! You need to tell me if it’s debit or credit first.”
“It’s credit.”
“Okay. NOW you can swipe your card.”
“Thanks.”
“Here’s your receipt. Next time you come in, make sure you know what you’re doing and this won’t happen again.”
It’s impossible to have a reasonable transaction with the US government.